| Hey Nicole who just stole your heart away this time? |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|12:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Copeland - Pin your Wings | ] |
Journal journal journal journal
I just let Carl's dogs out and Paca won't stop trying to pee on me, so I left after Hunter tried to take her down. Right now I'm just waiting for their time outside to be up and then I can let them back in the house. At work the other day I got sick, but the ironic thing was that it was a business picnic for a sanitation center. Obviously they weren't that sanitary. Anyway, yesterday, the 27th, I went to hang with Nicole at the pool despite my unsureness of whether or not I would have one of my symptons sneak up on me. We swam, played, and ate. Now I'm getting better and currently have to clean the basement? Supposedly? I don't even know. For all I know my brother just doesn't want to do his own job. |
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| Subsequently you see, you deserve more then me |
[Jun. 15th, 2005|09:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bright Eyes - Haligh haligh a lie haligh | ] |
Before I go on, if you look at the music, it does say Bright Eyes. I know that I am strictly against his droning voice but that song is pretty decent.
So last night, you see, I took Nicole on this hot date. After much ado from going to different restaurants, we decided, more so I did, to go to Red Lobster. We got steak, shrimp, and fries along with mmm biscuits.
Nicole pointed out the giant slovak lady that waited on us last time. We had some guy named Zack and Nicole was checking out his ass. I saw you!!
Anyway, I went to Tasty Freeze today and got an application and tour of the place. This could be a job opportunity. I got only one application but I can make a copy for Nicole :)
Yes, I know, very discrete but my fingers hurt from playing San Andreas. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|11:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  worried | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 311 - Feels so good | ] |
So. I went on vacation for seven dragging days and got homesick. Every day was the same, waking up early and crawling everywhere as my feet were so tired from the previous day of continual walking. Anyway.
Now that I am home I feel much better and glad to see my kitten. I went to Nicole's house and hung out after I had gotten back and we watched TV and just hung out. Then yesterday I went back to her house and she made me lunch and we went swimming along with my cell phone. So now I need a new cell phone but for now I will resort to my old one.
Right now I'm hot so I'm turning my fan on. Mm cold. |
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| I know me very well, at least as far as I can tell |
[May. 28th, 2005|04:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | restless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | System of a Down - Old School Hollywood | ] |
I got up at 7 in the morning. That usually means I'm going to be cranky, what do ya know! Oh well, I got surprise Nicole with my presence in her bed at 8:45 am. She "forgot" her phone in my pocket. It was just an excuse for me to go over there :) Then I had to better ready the house for people to eat all my food and want to watch lacross. It was fun, I probably won't see all those guys anymore since hockey is over. Right now I'm very tired and have a feeling something bad is going to happen. I don't know what, but Bad has a large gun pointing my way. |
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| I guess forever doesn't mean forever |
[May. 25th, 2005|10:56 am] |
I can't believe you didn't call
What made you want to end it all?
Wasn't there something I should have tried?
To help you see beyond the gray sky |
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| What made you want to end it all? |
[May. 24th, 2005|10:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 311 - Lucky | ] |
All your stories start with the same path
The path leading to no where
A dead end, you're off the graph
Not a single trace or hair
Where do you go when you say "I'm leaving?"
Don't bother with another story
The days gone by have stopped my believing
The next stop: The Mortuary
You're writing your own death
Something to add to your bookshelf
Full of lost causes and empty breaths
Don't go on burying yourself
The potential is there but are you even trying?
Don't you remember? I put my life on the line
Oh, I guess that's not worth your time
The breaking of a heart should be a crime
Not to mention the love we had
How can paradise turn to hell?
But your personality is rock hard
It pretty much explains itself |
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| I love you Nicole |
[May. 23rd, 2005|04:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Led Zepplin - Hey hey what can I do? | ] |
So you get others to lie for you
Just so you can avoid your own problems
Shedding tears is what you do
Because you won't solve them
This isn't something I usually do
But until you start taking responsibility
I can't take any pity
On you
This isn't something new
It subsides within you
I put forth all my trust
Even my life if I must
For all I do to make you happy
I'm repaid with a burden
Each and every day
Veiled with a curtain
No longer do you want to see my face
This anguish and disgust
No mercy, just disgrace
When will you begin to trust
Me..
I'm at wits end with all this
Compelling as our love is
You know ignorance is bliss
So why resort to our fists?
It's like a rainy day
No sun for our beaming faces
Yet when the clouds go their ways
We will be back in each others graces |
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| Glycerin tears don't fool me |
[May. 22nd, 2005|08:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Is awesome a mood? | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 311 - Welcome | ] |
Thursday I took Nicole out to eat at Red Lobster and that just went superbly. Our "servers" name was Zuncanakca (something of that sort) and she was about 10 times lengthier than me; which, kinda scares me. Nicole claims I made her birthday really good and that makes me happy.
So basically my weekend has been good, great, and awesome. Did I mention good?
Friday I went back to Nicole's house to play with her kittens and watch Kung Fu Hustle. We went to the movies and saw Monster-in-Law. It was a decent movie and I enjoyed holding my Nicole, even though she was a little down. On the way home she dropped me off and she fell asleep on me.
Saturday I woke up and looked for jobs. After two places I realized all the applications are online. What a waste of time that I could have spent at Nicole's! Speaking of Nicole, I went to her house afterwards and played with ALL the kittens in the house ;) Oh it's not funny unless you get it. I made bacon and she made me grilled cheese :) Her grilled cheese was really good and my bacon definitely tasted of divine excellence.
Sunday rolled around and I had to get up for work! I called Nicole and Carl to make sure they were awake and ready to go to work! Of course we were 20 minutes late to pick up Nicole. What do you expect of me? At work so much happened that I can't recall all of it. The bird/gorilla/thing sitting against the garage, the fat kid that couldn't help but talk for..3 hours? Yeah, strange. Nicole and I worked around each other so that we could be together. I made frisbees with her and she stepped on mine! So much more stuff that happened and it was a great time. Did I mention I got some $50? Haha, so afterward we went to some gas station to use the bathroom. Just joking around, Carl looks over to these to guys and says stupid jerks or something and they somehow hear him! So the flick us off and Carl is just ready to jump out of the car when my mom has a fit. No fighting! I don't want to see blood! I really know Carl wanted to fight, despite my feelings of whipping out my butterfly knife and gutting them; or to scare them..you know. That bird/gorilla thing is bothering me... |
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| It's the emptiness we love touching |
[May. 18th, 2005|06:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 311 - Nutsymtom | ] |
This week is going by
s
l
o
w
l
y
Too slowly. I think every day is another day. Like Tuesday was Friday and Wednesday was Thursday. It's not only me! My brother was said, "Brian, don't we need to take Tuwy's food away before 6pm cause he is getting operated on?" Today is not Thursday, it is Wednesday.
In addition to that, my cat is getting a sonigram done and if it turns out he still needs surgery then they will have to operate. They better save my Tuwy or I will be very upset.
Nicole's birthday is Tomorrow! I have got a SURprise for her :) It may be nerve-racking but she will enjoy the ending. Aww, she is growing before my own eyes! I'm taking her out to dinner but I'm not sure where yet, she will decide.
I must attend to secret events now. They will be revealed later. |
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| My eyes open and I'm just hopin' you feel the same as me |
[May. 16th, 2005|10:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Sorrowful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 311 - I told myself | ] |
I'm in rap mode! Writing a slam poem for creative writing. Today was a day that sleep was well needed for. The usually energy I use to carry Nicole up the stairs wasn't there today. Anyway, overall the day was good but right now I could just go for some well-earned sleep. My Nicole's kitten, Maeve, passed away today and now she's upset, as am I. Her birthday is coming up and I got her a present though :) Hopefully she'll become happier when she gets it. There is also one she doesn't know about (ja ja ja ja) <-- that was an evil spanish laugh. I love her sooooo much and I'm really glad to have her as my own.
My rap:
Yo check yourself before you get in my grill
You better believe it 'cause I am fo' real
I've walked this block like fity times
My beats are sick just like my rhymes
You I'm packin' heat under my belt
You better watch out, I'll make your blood melt
Fake gangstas up in my face like they hard or somethin'
Stick my gat in their face and make 'em feel nothin'
Damn homie I'm trying to eat my cornbread
but my hands are dirty 'cause they stained blood red
Straight out the cage, straight out the game
You dawg there ain't nobody to blame
I be hardcore up in the club when they frontin'
Gangstas near by see their head blow to stuffin'
Stuffed like a turkey I am
For thanksgiving dinner I eat the whole ham
Best not call me a liar homie, I ain't bluffin'
Don't my beef with you add up to somefin'?
Rollin' up in the drop-top Benz with chrome shinnin'
Like my mouthful of teeth while I'm out whillin'
Bling bling while I still got the chance to be livin'
God knows, I be goin' to heavin'
The streets be dirty with corruption
But you know that ain't 'cause of my disruption
Of someone else's heartbeat
Yo, you gotta understand, I'm as mean as the streets |
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| Shit like that scares me but I'd like to do it again |
[May. 14th, 2005|11:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 311 - Homebrew | ] |
It's no fun updating knowing that Nicole can't read it half the time. Though lately I have done really nothing, right now I'm tired and needing sleep and food. I'll think about doing this later. |
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| My God is of Bible blood with pointed ears |
[May. 2nd, 2005|07:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | apathetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Brand New - Mix Tape | ] |
So maybe lately I haven't updated, but who's to judge me? Anyway, Life has been just superb, I guess. It's not like anyone reads this or anything. Most likely those people who search through journals of random people in their spare time. Me and Nicole are at a consensus status now, we were getting shaky but we are back to loving each other. Just driving around and taking Nicole places or being at her house. Sadly though, her cat, Rocko, drowned in her pool while she was away, and I feel really bad now because I never got to see him that much. He licked me a few times on Sunday but that was it. He's always gonna be the taco man. |
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| If it takes forever, I'll still be by your side |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|03:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Bad Thoughts | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Static Lullaby - Stand Up | ] |
:BAM:
Welcome to Reality.
So this week hasn't started off as good as I'd like it to. Sunday I went to Nicole's house and looked at magazines. I enjoyed that. We started watching Jurassic Park 3, and, well, her dad says I'm grounded from the house for a week. :( not fair! Monday is hard to remember...I'm going crazy..Today. Tuesday. I got a 100 on a quiz in math because the squawking of a bird is better than the bad russian of a transvestite. My spanish teacher as up and left from the class for a "Spanish Board Meeting." She probably took the day off. Watched Dead Poet's Society in 3rd. I tried to warm Nicole up but of course I can't even do that. What use is a person without the hands to warm another up. Tis no at all. Lunch is lunch. 4th is sleep. Before we could leave there was a fight and the buses couldn't leave. Yeah, that makes sense..not really..When did fighting and bus departure become so closely linked? Oh well... |
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| So cover up those pointless tears |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|05:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dark Tranquility - Punish My Heaven | ] |
Nicole came back today! With that said, I would just like to say I love
her dearly and I am so glad to have her here with me. Eight months of
what I have found to be a turning point to my life. She has made me
realize I'm not all everyone says I am. Dressed up to be something I'm
not by others that lie to make me feel better about myself. I'm very
reluctant to have her with me and I will never take her for granted.
Nicole, I'll be in love with you forever.
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| In this hole, there is me |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|06:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Superb | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dark Tranquility - The New Build | ] |
So this weekend has basically been the best time ever. No parentals and all fun. Friday night I chilled at home, Saturday I went to Nicole's house, then to hardees where they messed up the order and put cheese on my burger. OF COURSE I'm a picky eater, couldn't they tell? We went to the bowling alley and rode the ATV game, played pool, took a sexy picture with Nicole, and well..you guessed it, bowled. After bowling I illegally imigrated Carl and Chandler along with my soul partner Nicole <33 We went over to the mall to look in PacSun for a shirt. No luck there we went to get a cookie chiller from Gloria's. Departing soon after we went to Nicole's house in anticipation to swim. The pool was dirty and not yet ready to be swam in, not to mention it was ball-shrinking cold outside. Had fun there until it was time for me and Carl to go. Booooooo. Carl came over for pizza and we watched Sin City. Yeah? So what if I steal. Anyway, Today is sunday. I went to Nicole's house, despite my under the weather conditions. I'm very glad I went. It has made me realize something so outstanding that I never noticed about her before. Oooh wouldn't you love to know. We layed out and she did her project. Ate some hamburgers for lunch and that was mighty tasty. Currently I'm writing a short story. :POOF!: |
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| Deep Black Dramanistic Self-Centeredness |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|08:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Dead | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Armor for Sleep - Car Underwater | ] |
The top of a waterfall embarks our journey
Dropping down the water gets heavier
With a deep plunge to the bottom
Your very own lake is created
Every touch makes it more powerful
Surging, the water pours from the top
Colossally colliding with the countertop
Waiting for that call to make it stop
Following the answer of the phone
The last sniffle to quiet the drone
Of hurt in your voice
But this was a choice
The waterfall could have been avoided
The second route was on your left
Rescue patrol at your service
All you had to do was ask |
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| But my hearts not beating.. |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|04:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Sickly | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | It Dies Today - A Romance by the Wing of Icar | ] |
Ah. Today. It's Wednesday. The middle of the week. BLARG!
Waking up in the morning, for the weirdest reason, is easier. It's light out, that might be something. This morning I "dilly dallied" and almost missed the bus. First period, you won't believe this but, my teacher still acts like we understand Russian! Trying to teach us stuff she doesn't even know how to do herself without consulting another teacher...Finally someone tells her that she isn't teaching us anything. Second is always a drag, not any different any other day. Third is always fun with my kitten :) we had to write Last Word poems and Ode poems. What fun! Lunch I fed Nicole of course! Being with her is never taken for granted. I soak in every second of the time spent with her. 4th period was kind of a "chill day" as the teacher called it. I couldn't help but have to do something, so I read my book. After school I went with Nicole to hang out around school. <33333 her. We layed out side waiting for her mom and then I took the long road homee. Now I'm a tad sweaty but it's all worth it. |
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| I'm miserible up here without you.. |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|04:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Sick-like | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | It Dies Today - The Radiance | ] |
As the flame of the candle stands still into the biting air,
And the silhouettes of a broken man crash to the floor.
He rues the day he flew too close to the sun.
Recalling her smile as his wings melted
And he descended to the depths blow.
She had spoken of things all too impossible for hearts to behold.
Her beauty beckoning his soul.
Defenseless he fell enamored by her intoxicating charm,
She had spoken of things which he bagan to believe.
This was not supposed to be.
Screamed the temptress.
Her lack of empathy being her only vice she constructed a heart shaped tomb.
There she swore she would lay and perish.
With his wings charred and the pieces of his heart lying in ruins on the floor.
She had spoken of things all too impossible for hearts to behold.
He dreams of a day when the candle would begin to flicker in the cold night air,
Perhaps then he would fly again. he will fly again |
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